My Two Worlds of Fear and Faith

This is what I am thinking after I read what Carolina commented on my last blog. Thanks Carolina, I do appreciate your comments.

In the course of 10 years I have been to 7 different OBGYN's. In different ways they were all good doctors. I was looking for answers and most of all to have a baby. They all helped me in their own way. Four of them operated on me. I have to say that one of these surgeries was most likely not needed. I wanted the doctor who operated on my sister and got pregnant one month later to look at me and see what looked different. That didn't happen. Instead he told me at my post op appointment and I quote, "please don't take this the wrong way,but you have a hot bod". He was my number 5 doctor in the process, and so I felt extremely let down and not to mention offended.

One of these doctors is no longer an OBGYN, one moved out of the country, one of them I have most recently blogged about who told me that there is not a surgeon out there who would remove my tumor (a little out of touch, but insisted on treating me and not referring me when I asked to be referred to an endocrinologist). No one ever ran a prolactin level until this year.

One watched my video of my surgery and told me my ovaries are messed up and referred me to a GI physician who would not take my phone calls and wanted to charge me to talk to him and he lived in Texas ( not very practical).

I think I could go back to my fourth OBGYN who did my first endometriosis surgery. He was a very nice man. From my work at Bethany I know he is very much into in-vitro right now, but I think he would take me back.

Some will not understand this, but I am a little bit frustrated with the medical approach to this. This is not to say that ultimately I will not end up back having surgery and someday even a hysterectomy. When I did that extreme diet from the GI doctor in Houston, I know I had significantly less pain. What I do not know is did my Prolactin level raise at that time and my symptoms were masked? I don't think so. I truly think my body enjoyed the food I was giving it and it felt better.

My nutritionist insists that I need to be patient and through diet and herbs I can completely get rid of whatever is causing my pain. She just says that it did not happen overnight and it will not go away overnight. I know that if I tell a doctor of my pain, they will insist that I be checked out again and I am not ready for another surgery right now.

Some may think I am stupid. Some may think I am smart. Some my think I am crazy. Quite frankly I have not figured that one out yet. I think that if I am going to ride this one out through herbs and diet, I should stop complaining about the pain. I am trying to take one step at a time and not move to quickly on anything. I also think it is worth a try to be more strict on my diet, because if I know that makes me feel better, than why do I not do it?

The answer to that is I get soooooo sick of chicken that I want to barf!! I can't eat beef or pork. Basically I can eat dairy, fish, chicken, most vegetables, nuts and one piece of fruit a week and I can't forget a tablespoon of olive oil at every meal. Truly, I can't live forever like this and that is why I tried to find a happy balance. I think maybe I will give up the sugar and see what happens, I have been eating a lot of sugar lately. It is RAW Sugar, as that is something we can have on our new plan, but maybe it is not for me.

I'm off to pray about it, thanks for listening.